If you give a sadist some eggs,
he's gonna want to club you in the kneecap
or:
kill them with kindness.
Before I get into the meat of this movie, you've got to give a movie props when the music credit in the opening credits goes to "Georg Fridrick Handel, W.A. Mozart, and John Zorn." A lesser movie would have relegated those bros to the end credits. But not Funny Games. Funny Games has too much respect for that shit.
So Anna, Georg, and their son, Georg, arrive at their lake house as planned and everything is fine. Sure, the neighbor seems a little distant today and little Georg can't find his friend, Sissi, whom he was expecting to see, but alas, not to worry. While Anna is preparing dinner, one of the young men who had been with the neighbors stops by to borrow eggs. Anna provides four eggs, asking if he'd like her to wrap them up for him. He says no thanks, goes to leave, and the awkward guy quickly drops them off screen. Anna being cool is all like "no sweat, I'll clean that right up, accidents happen," but in German. Oh yeah, this movie is in German, by the way.
So after she cleans it up, Peter (the klutz), is all like "well... I still kinda need those eggs..." To which Anna reasonably tries to say "tough shit, we're expecting company in the morning."
"Surely four eggs is enough..."
FUCK YOU, DON'T TELL ME HOW MANY EGGS IS ENOUGH FOR MY FAMILY AND INVITED GUESTS! YOU ARE NOT INVITED, I WAS DOING YOU A COURTESY AND YOU ARE CROSSING A LINE
For the record, she didn't say the above, those were just my feelings. She folds and gives him the eggs in order to get him out of there. He just had that vibe of social awkwardness that really sucks the life out of a room. Like if you're at lunch and he asked to sit with you, you'd have no real reason to say no, but Jesus Christ you don't want him to sit down. But he does, of course. And then you can't talk about what you wanted to because this guy is there. And you want to act like he's not, but you don't want to be rude and ignore him, I'm getting off track. Before Anna gives him the second set of eggs, she again asks," do you want me to wrap them?".
"If you want to."
"IF I WANT TO?" NO MOTHERFUCKER! I DON'T EVEN WANT YOU IN MY HOUSE, BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT YOU BREAKING MORE EGGS WITH YOUR HANDS THAT ARE CLEARLY MORE LOBSTER CLAW THAN HAND!
She actually did say the first part. At this point, although nothing bad has happened, there is a real sense of unease. That's really the word that describes this whole movie. The young men, Peter and Paul, have their air of calm, reluctant douchebaggery that's hard to put into words, but just makes you hate them so much even before they've really done anything.
Again, I mean that in a good way. The unease has seeped in even more by now. And what's fascinating about these earlier scenes when the "games" begin is that they take place in broad daylight and yet still left me in goosebumps. I think that comes partly in the bleakness of the movie. Peter and Paul's manner of speaking essentially gaslights the characters and the audience as well into realizing that there is likely no hope for these people.
I'm going to do some major spoiling, so if you don't want that, stop reading now (or skip to the end for the Spook-o-meter rating!)
So like most of these movies I've been watching, things go from bad to worse very quickly. First, we learn that Paul killed the family's dog with the same golf club which he used to break Georg's leg , which will never not be a gut-wrenching feeling. It's very odd that I can sit through a movie like Saw and think, "hmm, this is gross, but I don't feel dead inside" but then when a pet is killed, even offscreen like in this movie, it jabs right to the heart.
During this reveal, Paul makes the above look to the camera and winks, breaking the wall for the first time. It's entirely too unsettling. It's as if he's saying, "yeah, you're part of the comradery. You agree with and like what I'm doing."
NO YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I DON'T LIKE IT, IT'S AWFUL! YOU MAKE ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE! DON'T MAKE ME A PART OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING!
Paul then forces Anna to get undressed. The camera work is very deliberate in showing Anna's broken (metaphorically) face straight on as she disrobes. The frame cuts off at shoulder level, so as to show her shattered emotions yet to not force the audience into being a party to the horrific act. Mind you, although the young son is blindfolded, he is present in the room when all this is happening, adding to the humiliation. At this point, Anna is told to get dressed again, and the two intruders randomly decide who is to die.
Paul goes to make a sandwich, while Peter does essentially eenie meenie to determine the victim. The camera follows Paul to the kitchen while hearing the counting in the background. There's still just a shred of hope that maybe something good will happen. Then bang. A gunshot sounds, followed by the sound of a scuffle, while the camera is still focused on Paul. Abrupt camera change to the blood-splattered TV, Paul is annoyed with Peter's choice of victim.
"We'll get nothing from the others now. Let's go."
The camera still is locked on the TV. As they go to leave, the sick bastards thank them and say have a good evening. Finally the camera moves to show the entire room. Everything is still except for the TV still playing. Anna is sitting in one of the chairs, and little Georg lies on the ground in a pool of his own blood.
Ho, ly, shit,
I mean, what? They shot the boy. In the head. With a shotgun. And then said "have a good evening."
The camera lingers on this still shot for an unnerving about of time, letting you really soak in the horror. Anna is broken, Georg Sr seems to have passed out from shock due to his broken leg. and little Georg is dead.
But at least Peter and Paul are gone.
Anna helps Georg get up and the two devise a plan to get help. Anna leaves the house in search of help while Georg tries to fix the phone which was seemingly accidentally broken in an earlier scene by Peter. Things are seemingly okay until Georg hears the door open and a golf ball is seen rolling down the hall from the entrance.
Such a simple, yet bone-chilling device. Just like that, a little rolling ball, and all hope was lost. Peter and Paul found Anna and force her to play another game which will determine who dies next and by what method. During a moment of confusion, Anna is able to reach the gun and kill Peter. Justice! Or at least a little justice!
Paul begins freaking out, shouting for the remote and frantically looking for it. When he finds it, he hits rewind, which literally rewinds the movie far enough for him to avoid Peter getting shot. Fuck. Are you kidding me? Whelp, it's now time to truly abandon hope. Anna and Georg are going to die and these boys will have no comeuppance.
And surprise, surprise. That's exactly what happens. Georg is shot immediately after the rewind and Anna is pushed into the lake off the boat. One cheeky moment happens there on the boat because early in the movie, before any of this happens, little Georg brings a knife onto the boat and there is a deliberate shot of knife being left there as if to say "this is important"; about as textbook a Chekov's gun as you can get. But on the boat, when Anna finds the knife and begins her escape, Paul puts a stop to it immediately and gives the camera a knowing look.
The movie ends with the boys docking at the next house and asking them if they can borrow some eggs. Then freeze on Paul's shithole face. Roll credits.
This movie rocked me. It's not scary per se, but it's eerie and completely unsettling. You feel helpless. It's horror in the truest sense of the word. These people are horrific to watch, and yet I am fascinated by it. The manipulation, the frustration, the subtle insanity. As Paul says, it's ridiculous that this all starting over a dispute about eggs. It's absurd. Absurdist horror, a terrifying genre.
Rating on the Spook-o-meter: 8 out of 10 boos
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